Support Lines          Vol. 2  Number 3       February 3, 2004    

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Inside This Issue:

• Web Updates

• New Peer Support Focus Group Forming

  Bi-Monthly meetings beginning Monday, February 9, 2004

• Internships Available For Students with Disabilities

• Editor's Note

• Talk Back!-Greetings from Cape Town South Africa

• Book Review: Live Safely in a Dangerous World

  How to beat the odds of dying in an accident.

• In Another Eyes -a poem by Shirley Casey, Dublin Ireland

• Cognitive Dissonance V -by John Pistorius

• Brain Injury Advocacy Coalition Meeting
  Pennsylvania Protection and Advocacy, Inc.

• PABIA Meeting Brief -February 3, 2004

• Free Eye Care Resources

• Pittsburgh Area Meeting Notices

• Thank You! -The people who make it all possible.

• PABIA-NEWS Subscriber Policy

• Subscribe/Unsubscribe Instructions

PABIA Website Overhauled!

Navigation Page Improves Accessibility.

Our webmaster has been busy, busy, busy! He has revamped the PABIA website. With seventy-five web pages in the PABIA web, the Navigation page offers visitors a one stop access to every page on the site. What a bonus. No more hunting for that page you want to reach. The navigation link is in the left side column of every page for easy access.

Also renewed on the site: Support Group Development Tools. This is where visitors can find sample Meeting Notice Posters, Brochures, Directional Signs, sample Press Releases, Welcome Posters, Meeting Evaluation Forms and more.

Our Survivor Tales Pages are chock full of courageous stories of tenacity and human resolve to overcome the barriers to full participation in society. Everyone is encouraged to submit their tale for possible publication.

Previous editions of the PABIA-NEWS, Support Lines email newsletter can be found at Newsletter Archives.

Please let us know what you want to see if you do not find it on our site. We aim to serve you information that is relevant, interesting and up-to-date.

Soon to be developed-Interactive Bulletin Board.

New Peer Support Focus Group Forming

Bi-Monthly meetings beginning Monday, February 9, 2004

This group is specifically aimed at addressing the interests and needs of adults recovering from Brain Injury who are facing the challenge of professional role continuation, and those who seek reintegration into educational and career settings.

Individuals striving to overcome the hidden consequences of Brain Injury to achieve or maintain increased levels of independence and community functioning may benefit and are encouraged to attend.

This peer directed, professionally facilitated meeting is being formed as a collaborative endeavor between members of the BRAIN TRUST and University of Pittsburgh faculty and graduate students in partnership with the TBI Model Systems Grant Project.

Anyone interested in attending this meeting or helping to create or facilitate new peer support groups, please click here to contact John Pistorius.

We have free tools available for people interested in developing a peer support group or focus group meeting. Members of the BRAIN TRUST provide hands on assistance, email newsletter notification, aid in generating Meeting Notice Posters, Brochures, Press Releases and much more.

INTERNSHIPS AVAILABLE FOR STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES
HalfthePlanet Foundation seeks two undergraduate or graduate level students with disabilities to serve as part-time (8-10 hours/week) interns. These internships will involve work on a new HalfthePlanet Foundation program, entitled Beyond Participation, which provides training and technical assistance to three mainstream youth organizations working to be more inclusive of young people with disabilities. Click here for More information on this job.
 

Editor's Note

John Pistorius

Someone recently asked me, "Why do you do this John? Why spend your time and money within the peer support effort?" My answer---It pleases me to help others in their recovery journey, and I want to keep peer-to-peer support alive.

During the almost twenty years of my involvement, I've become intimately aware of the need for ongoing support. In the beginning, I received much more than I gave. This group is the number one most important factor in my own recovery. Volunteering has stimulated my mind, increased my skills and improved my outcome. I cannot over stress this point.

Helping others has always been a passion of mine. The work that I do to help people who experience Brain Injury satisfies me, because I get to see results.

Sometimes, a person finds needed funding for critical independent living assistance. Other times, friendships are made. Sharing information improves lives. Helping others to realize their ability to direct themselves to overcome recovery obstacles is very gratifying. I know where some of the keys to unlock the chains are and I can point people to them. Of course, it's up to them to reach out and take hold of the key and unlock whatever it is that holds them. It is like leading horses to water. Many decide to drink of the water that gives them life.

The Pittsburgh Area Brain Injury Alliance has stood the test of time. While the PABIA may not meet everyone's needs, we certainly do have a purpose in the lives of hundreds of subscribers, meeting attendees, and thousands of visitors to the www.pabia.org website. And that means something to me. My time is well spent.

I owe a great deal of thanks to many people. Most especially to Andrea Williams for her belief in me when I didn't believe in myself. Without her leading, I might have quit volunteering long ago. Without her direction and sometimes constructive criticism, I'd have drifted off course. Without her vision of Empowerment for the people who experience Brain Injury, and all people with disabilities, the world would be a darker place today. Thanks for being that beacon my friend.

In turn, I enjoy encouraging others to face their fears to overcome the barriers to their full enjoyment of life. And that motivates me to continue. In the end, I want to know that I have done everything possible to help others to reach their fullest potential. -jp

Talk Back!

Greetings From Cape Town, South Africa

How I wish we had enthusiastic groups such as your own in SA. I advertised in a local newspaper and got zero response, to start a support group for survivors of near drowning children with brain injury.

All the best with the wonderful work you do!!!

Yours most sincerely,
Sheila Belcher

Book Review: Live Safely in a Dangerous World

How to beat the odds of dying in an accident.

First, I want to thank Roy Vachino for donating this wonderful soft cover book. It is a powerful resource for common sense safety approaches to just about every possible topic from adult sports to trampolines and everything in between.

This book provides 127 easy to read articles with practical insight into important accident prevention and safety information. Following the strategies in this guide can save your life.

Accidents account for more than 90,000 deaths in America each year. Millions more are disabled, many permanently. Live Safely in a Dangerous World identifies daily hazards and supplies easy prevention strategies.

In the home safety category, according to recent National Safety Council statistics, poisonings are the number one cause of deaths in the home at 9,700. Next is falls, then fires and burns, suffocation, and drowning. Firearms cause 400 deaths each year in the home.  Nearly 30,000 persons die each year in and around their homes and almost 7 million suffer temporary or permanent disabling injuries in home related incidents. More disabling accidents occur at home than in motor vehicle accidents and in the workplace combined.

The author says, "Most accidents can be better described as failures, failures on our part and failures on the part of others." He offers advice on creating an individualized personal safety plan as a key to a safer lifestyle for every member of the family.

Based on statistics from the National Safety Council and birth rates, the author states that we have 1-in-45 odds of dying in an accident. That is a good reason to learn how to live safer.

For children under age 15, bicycle riding is the number one cause of injuries, with basketball, football and baseball following closely. Lets promote the use of helmets!

This book is a must have for anyone wanting to learn more about safety and avoiding 'accidents.'  Anyone interested in obtaining a copy can contact Roy Vachino at (412) 563-6990.

In Another Eyes
Shirley Casey, Dublin, Ireland

In another eyes, I’m somebody who could not do any wrong
They find it hard to let go, they thought if they did,
What would happen to me.
Being the youngest, it was hard,
But in another eyes, I would be young forever and never grow up!
When it was my time to leave home, they were afraid for me,
But in another eyes, knowing that I would be fine!
Now, that I’m all growing up to a young woman,
I have a bit more knowledge of life
But in another eyes, I’m great.

Cognitive Dissonance V

I am the Commander

John Pistorius

Just out of high school, at the age of eighteen, I believed my life was right on track. I was following in my dad’s footsteps and planned to enlist in the military after the holidays. Then, as a passenger in a fiery auto crash New Years Eve 1976-77, my destination was forever changed.

Instead of boot camp, I found myself in a hospital. I was too busted up to realize the stark contrast that the new evidence presented to my goals and beliefs. I believed back surgery to fuse vertebrae together dashed any hope that I had for getting into the military. It changed my ideas about the amount of pain a person can tolerate, and ended my relationship with my girlfriend.

By age twenty, in 1978, I was learning to renovate old homes with few clues about what I was going to do with my life. Four thugs gave me direction when they beat me unconscious and sent me to the hospital with my face broken. After surgery and a month of hospitalization, I returned to my ‘life.’ I was deeply affected and withdrew into the arms of a woman who would later become my wife.

In 1980, after spending the entire day with me, my best friend, age 21, was killed minutes after leaving my home. I was called to the scene to identify his mangled, lifeless body. Massive head trauma and blood loss swept him away in the blink of an eye.

In 1983, at age twenty-five, I was married with children and my goals were set. My career was developing. I saw a bright future in buying and renovating old homes in the South Side of Pittsburgh. And then again, in an instant, my life was forever altered when I was hit by a car driven by a man who was drunk.

Why share this?

I don’t want sympathy or pity. Don’t even go there. I’m telling you these things to substantiate my claim of understanding the process of overcoming pained states of mind.

Each of these incidents caused a great deal of Cognitive Dissonance. Not that I understood it then. Nevertheless, in retrospect, I can understand it now. Each time, I was forced to view my life from a different perspective. New evidence boldly contradicted my current belief or outlook, thereby causing a pained state of mind. The challenge was to overcome the obstructions to my ability to live life peacefully. It was my choice. I was able to overcome the visible evidence that gave me grounds for believing the existence or presence of something else by directing my thought energy away from my inabilities and onto my abilities.

I could have stopped living when my life was changed by these events. Instead, I adapted. Part of my ability to adjust came from my adoption of confident, constructive thinking techniques. I thought my way out of these battles. The difference between my ideas, beliefs and opinions and new evidence that confronted my beliefs was the barrier that I rigorously fought.

Ok, I realized that I was not going to have a military career. So I started working in construction. I watered my attitude and thinking with my ability to learn new things. Then, after the thugs jumped me, I decided to settle down, marry, and raise a family and I went back into construction. After my best friend’s death, I realized the line between life and death was much finer than I had ever imagined, and I became almost reclusive. After the drunk driver running me down, I started buying and renovating homes using my limited knowledge of construction and seeking information from others.

Goals-Beliefs-Choices

I believed that I was on track with my goals. Each time I faced new evidence that gave me grounds for believing something contrary to my accepted position, I chose to accept or reject the new information.

When the orthopedic surgeon told me that my spinal injury was not going to permit me to be in construction, I chose to disagree with him. Instead, I worked to strengthen the muscles that support the spine. The construction work strengthened my back.

Plastic surgery repaired the damaged bone in my face that resulted from the attack in 1978. So the predictions of ugliness and deformity were overcome by excellent surgeons. That was all it took to overcome that batch of new evidence.

Cognitive retraining and the deliberate planting of statements which affirmed my abilities were the fertilizer to my positive attitude. This combination of professional assistance, attitude adjustment and thought planting amounted to digging in, planting, fertilizing and watering my thought garden. And it propelled me forward with resolve after the car ran me down in 1983. It didn’t happen overnight. The process of overcoming the stark contrast in my thinking was one that fluctuated, sometimes dramatically.
 

More Dissonance

And then, in 1986, just when I thought that I was right on track, my wife decided that she would be happier with someone else. She claimed that the 1983 accident had changed me beyond her recognition. I wasn’t the guy that she married. She claimed that her husband died and she was left with someone who looked like him but didn’t act like him. This was the same year that my parents bought their pet shop.

Throughout the following six years, using some very intelligent lawyers, she dismantled my income, my real estate and my self-confidence. I was able to overcome so much adversity before, but somehow this was the toughest battle of my lifetime. In retrospect, I believe it was because divorce opposed my core values. My parents have been married for almost fifty years. When we married, I thought that I was going to be married to her for the rest of my life. Then, in short order, I was facing very real circumstances which refuted my core belief.

She was so angry about losing her husband in that accident. She wanted to punish me for taking his life and his place in hers. Therefore, no matter what I conceded to, she kept pushing for more. This was a stark contrast to the mild-mannered woman that she projected herself to be. Mosquitoes are friendlier.

My ex-wife was relentless in her punishment. Almost like the thugs, who years earlier had kicked me when I was down, she just kept pursuing me. It was as if she demanded that I fight back. Yet I did not have the will to fight. Even if I had possessed the desire, I was without funds. I only wanted it to end. I was so tired of her attacks. How could I overcome this opponent? She knew my weaknesses and was adept at sharing them with her lawyers. Together, they were relentless. The stress reduced my ability to function in my defense.
 

Chains of Thought

All through my life, when I thought about my future, I had disconcerting thoughts which were partially influenced by well-meaning people who told me that I would ‘always be’ something or other. Those ‘all’ or ‘absolute’ statements had an effect on me because I trusted the people who made them. They were the experts.

Doctors told me that I would always ‘be’ something or other. Surgeons told me that I would ‘never’ do certain things. Because of cognitive impairments, therapists told me that I must remember that I would ‘always’ be slower. I had no evidence to refute their claims, yet, their ideas did not fit into my beliefs about me. As new evidence emerged that was contrary to their statements, I was challenged. I rebelled against their ideas, yet was still plagued by the nagging that they presented. The thoughts that they had planted confronted me and required energy to refute them, and that was a waste of resources. So I started seeking relief from every source possible.
 

New Tools Developed to Excavate Dissonance

During the six years of the divorce battle, I sought techniques and strategies to overcome these nagging negative thoughts which were stealing my effectiveness. I built an arsenal of tools as soldiers to overcome these formidable thought opponents of mine. And the war took on new meaning and direction. New people entered my life. Some of them were trained to help me fight the ideas that were beating me. I did not always win every battle, but my win-loss ratio improved. With every win, my confidence improved. And I came to realize that I really could accomplish this task of changing my opinions and beliefs. My mental acceptance and views on particular ideas, thoughts and subjects began to be transformed.

I learned to be the governor of my thoughts. Often, my convictions were overturned and I was pardoned. With each release, I was inspired to free my mind from additional obstructions to clear thinking.

I learned to not be anxious about tomorrow and I’m still learning to have peace by living in the moment. This moment is all that we really have, none other. It is the eternal moment, when you finally come into harmony with reality. It is the only place where we have any control over the only thing that we have real control over, our attitude.

Each time a tragedy occurred I fought back. I’ve repeatedly lived through the process and have developed a deep understanding about overcoming the pained state of mind called Cognitive Dissonance. I learned by experience that it is possible to overcome Cognitive Dissonance by uprooting and burning the weed thoughts and shooting down and burying the thought soldiers that defend them. I learned to plant deliberate, precise thoughts to fight the battle from within my subconscious mind. And I taught myself how to water and fertilize those ideas with others that reinforced their growth.

Armed with a legion of new evidence, I was confronted with a challenge that extended beyond the surface. The deep-seated beliefs which I was not yet able to erase were lingering in the dark recesses of my thought garden. Like hidden monsters, they would come forward to fight at any moment to defend core beliefs. They had to be overcome, yet they proved to be elusive. Nevertheless, I came to realize that they belonged to me too. That was a real turning point. These were my thoughts even if I had accepted them from others.

Next time: Tools to overpower the monsters and Self-Command.

BRAIN INJURY ADVOCACY COALITION MEETING
Pennsylvania Protection and Advocacy, Inc.

When: FEBRUARY 11, 2004
Time: 10:30 am to 2:00 pm
Place: PP&A, 1414 N. Cameron St., Harrisburg
Admission: Free
TOPIC:
Parking: Free Parking
Contact: Deborah Delgado 1-800-692-7443 X117 or email ddelgado@ppainc.org

Agenda-

• Introductions

• Leadership Group Invitation

• TBI Survivors and Family Members:

  • Sharing Our Stories

• Lunch

• Discussion

  • As a coalition, how do we make our voices heard?

  • As a coalition, how do we move forward?

  • As a coalition, where do we want to have impact?

Discussion Facilitator is Carol Horowitz from The Disabilities Law Project

PABIA Meeting Brief

February 3, 2004

Nearly thirty people were in attendance as Dr. Frances Bruce Marion presented, Mend The Mind, Mind The Body, Meet the Soul. In his brief presentation, Dr. Bruce explained how our bodies are wired for healing. After the presentation, attendees, gravitated into smaller groups for discussion.

One participant picked up Bruce's guitar and strummed out a few songs while others sat and chatted.

If you were unable to attend and would like to view the videotape, please contact Ed Crinnion at (412) 761-9870 or evc@pabia.org.

Free Eye Care

If you or a loved one needs eye care, but cannot afford it, the following organizations can help:

• American Academy of Ophthalmology (AAO), National Eye Care Project for those 65 and older. Visit www.aao.org or call toll free, 1-800-222-3937.

• American Optometric Association, Vision USA, for low income families and children. Visit www.aoanet.org or call toll free 1-800-766-4466 for more information.

• Lions Club International Foundation Visit www.lcif.org or call 1-630-571-5466.

Pittsburgh Area Brain Injury Alliance

Upcoming Meeting and Social Event Notices

Next Pittsburgh Area meeting date: Tuesday, March 2, 2004

TIME: 7:00 P.M.
TOPIC: Planning for the Future: Dollars and Cents, with Maria Smith, Director of Family Trust-ACHIEVA.
PLACE: 1323 Forbes Avenue, Pittsburgh Near Mercy Hospital and AJ Palumbo Center
ADMISSION: Free
PARKING: Free Parking Lot adjacent to the building.
Contact: Ed Crinnion at 412.761.9870 or John Pistorius at 412.481.5482.
Refreshments provided.

The next Indiana Twp. meeting date: Tuesday, February 9, 2004

Time: 7:00 P.M.
Place: the McLaughlin Education Center of HealthSouth, Harmarville.
Admission: Free
TOPIC: Peer Support
Parking: Free Parking in the HealthSouth Parking Garage
 

Contact: Tom Byrnes at 412-531-0343 or Ann Ciotoli at 412-828-1300
Refreshments provided.

The next Monroeville Area meeting date: Thursday, February 12, 2004

TIME: 7:00 P.M.
PLACE: Cross Roads Presbyterian Church, 2310 Haymaker Road, Monroeville, Pa.
TOPIC: Peer Support Discussion with brief Video Presentation.
ADMISSION: Free
PARKING: Free parking lot adjacent to the building.
 

Contact: Denise Patterson at deenomad@aol.com or Paul Damon at 412.372.2888
Refreshments provided.

New- Indiana County Brain Injury Support Group

When: Thursday, February 19, 2004
Time: 7 to 9 pm
Topic: "The Hidden Scars from a TBI (Traumatic BRAIN Injury). Physical, Mental and Social, and the New Challenges of life ever." with ED Crinnion - Pittsburgh Area Brain Injury Alliance - Coordinator and Brain Injury Association of Pennsylvania - Board of Directors 2000-2005
Place: Indian Haven Community Home, 1675 Saltsburg Ave., Indiana, PA 15701
Admission: Free
Parking: Free Parking Lot adjacent to the building.
Contact: Becky Myers 724.349.5934 or BILL Compton 724.639.9416
 

Western PA BIM / HS Recreational Bowling League

Where: Fun Fest Entertainment Center, 2525 Freeport Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15238
WHEN: Monday Feb 23rd, March 22nd and April 19th.
COST: $7 per person, Bowl 3 games, Includes shoes, 2 slices of Pizza & unlimited fountain drinks.
TIME: 3:30 PM TO 6:30 PM on Lanes #35 to 40

Bowling at Fun Fest is Wheel Chair Accessible and there are Bowling Ramps.
For more information contact Tom Byrnes at 412-531-0343.
 

Thank You!

These are the people that make it possible.

Ed Crinnion (412) 761-9870- for your untiring efforts in keeping the Pittsburgh Area Brain Injury Alliance together, funding our website and supplying refreshments for PABIA meetings.

Dr. Bruce (412) 921-3711- for your enlightened perspective on healing Mind, Body and Soul.

Jim Sproat and realty Counseling Co. Inc. (412) 381-1166- for your support of the PABIA-NEWS, electronic newsletter and for the use of your digital camera. We greatly appreciate your help. Anyone interested in contacting Jim to thank him personally, can call or visit his website at http://www.realtycounseling.com.

Denise Patterson and Paul Damon (412) 372-2888- for your ongoing coordination of the Monroeville area Peer Support Group.

Ann Ciotoli, MaryAnn Stritmatter 412-828-1300 and Tom Byrnes (412) 531-0343-for your ongoing commitment to peer support.

PABIA-NEWS Contributors- your insight, articles, poems and comments are vital to the success of this publication.

PABIA-NEWS Subscriber Policy

We aim to inform, inspire and empower people to be their best. We value every subscriber and respect your privacy. Our subscriber list is NOT made available to anyone for any reason. We do not sell, rent or loan our mailing lists. If you find this newsletter to be of value, we invite and encourage you to forward it (in its entirety, please) to your friends. Sometimes people choose to stop receiving "PABIA-News". You may unsubscribe at any time by following the instructions provided at the end of this message. We don’t want to send this to anyone who doesn’t wish to receive it, and we will make every good faith effort to remove you if you notify us of your intent to be removed.
 

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'Till next time, Seek to be and remain Barrier-Free.