In the beginning of this series I
described my understanding of the term cognitive dissonance. I’ve also given
reference to the author of the theory, Leon Festinger. Throughout these
essays, I’ve shared some of my personal experiences with various degrees of
cognitive dissonance. And I’ve told of some strategies which I’ve learned
that can be used to short circuit it. In this piece, I plan to reveal more
of my understanding of the short circuiting process with you.
I’ve previously expressed the matter of choosing between our belief and the
new evidence. Nevertheless, I know that we must realize and understand that
we have the power to choose. To make a choice we must know that we actually
have one. That is where “bringing in the troops” comes into play.
Basic Training
I started bringing my anti-cognitive dissonance troops into action on paper
as written statements. These reflected and expressed my fight as I battled
with the dissonance that I was experiencing. When I started, I wrote out my
first statement and then revised it to be as accurate as possible. As I’ve
shared in the previous essay, it became; “I affirm the following: I want
to permanently improve my life, my circumstances and my way of thinking.”
I really did want to improve. That desire proved to be the fuel that
propelled me forward in this journey. It gave me energy to fight the
negative thought soldiers and overcome the massive amounts of dissonance
that I was experiencing. Good for me. I hope that you can benefit from my
sharing the paths I took in my tour of duty. Maybe you have the desire to
overcome dissonance in your life too. If so, applying yourself to this
process can benefit you.
I truly wanted to be free, therefore, I wrote;
“I
want to be free from the bondage and influences of negative beliefs, ideas,
thoughts and prejudices for the rest of my life. It is so.”
That was my second written statement after beginning this project. I read
and reread that sentence over and over again until I had imbedded it deep in
my subconscious. I really wanted to be free from the bondage that I felt
from those negatives. Yet I had no idea how to free myself. Or at least
that’s what I thought at the time. I was mistaken in that belief. I did know
how to free myself. I only needed to get past the negative thoughts and
prejudices that were blocking the gate to my open minded acceptance of new
ideas and strategies.
More Dissonance
I had two beliefs which were in conflict; a belief that I could make this
happen and a belief that I was unable also. Those conflicting beliefs caused
disharmony in my mind. I had to do something to eliminate that dissonance.
Before I could battle the major dissonance causing cognitions, I needed to
overcome the conflict that threatened to derail me before I even started
rolling. Therefore, I was willing to at least attempt to do something to
work toward my goal. And that willingness proved to be the one most
important factor in getting started.
I learned how to actualize and incorporate my knowledge through the process
that I am sharing with you here. Please remember this; at first, I really
believed I was powerless over the things that controlled me. Yet at the same
time I knew that I was able to direct myself beyond my current
circumstances. It was a paradox that had me locked into a quicksand quagmire
of insensitivity and inaction at times. It took a great deal of effort to
battle the negative thought soldiers that I had stationed in my thought
garden. They were thoroughly entrenched there.
Once
I began the process of liberating myself from the bondage and influences of
negative beliefs, ideas and prejudices, I experienced more cognitive
dissonance. I uncovered another set of dissonant cognitions. On one hand, I
wanted to be free from the negatives that were robbing me of my joy. On the
other hand, I believed that I was forever unable to change. That caused
disharmony in my mind. Nevertheless, as this battle continued, I
successfully pushed forward. I learned to specify exactly what I wanted and
to express or illuminate the opposition. Being as exact as possible was a
key to unlock success for me in my battle. I was able to get past the
negative thought soldiers positioned to stop me.
Through the process of writing and reading the words I’d written, I realized
that I had allowed myself to be tricked into believing falsehoods. Once I
came to the realization that I was allowing myself to be deceived, I quickly
changed gears. Like a Jeep in deep mud, I pressed the pedal to the metal and
began the slip-sliding, mud slinging process of driving myself out of the
enemy territory that I’d driven myself into. After I realized that my
thoughts were the driving force in everything I experienced, I wrote the
following:
“I want to build a new set of hidden command files in my mind that will
project me into the life that I desire. It is so.”
I studied that statement repeatedly until it became a part of me. I really
did want this. Therefore, I created this project to help myself get what I
wanted. I applied myself to this every day. Every day! I’m not sure that it
would have worked any other way. The command files are the troops. During
the years I’ve lived here on Earth I’ve experienced many things. All of
those experiences have propelled me to this point in time, to become me, the
person that I am right here, right now. I am grateful for everything I’ve
experienced, even the really painful things; maybe even especially the
painful ones. It is only through fire that silver is refined. Nevertheless,
I was unhappy with the dissonance in my thinking. I wanted it to end.
Education
I can’t possibly expect anyone else to fully understand the driving force
behind this work. In fact, many would criticize or dismiss this because of
their beliefs. As I’m writing, I’m reminded of those who believe only formal
education has real value. Of course they have been sold that belief by
others and the very institutions that charge large sums of money to “teach”
people what others have already figured out. Many of the greatest minds in
the world were self-taught without the rigid structures and in some cases
the blinders of formal education. Others coupled self-education with their
formal education. The great Abe Lincoln was a self-taught man. I use his
example to refute the preprogrammed chatter and negative thought soldiers
that would dismiss my findings as useless or irrelevant. I know this process
worked for me and I believe it can work for you.
There is no need to reinvent anything. Learning from other people has great
merit and value. This motivates me to share my experiences here. I hope
that it helps even one other person to overcome the energy robbing
dissonance in their lives.
Learning to Rebuild
As I continued in my troop building journey, I realized that I was “learning
to use my thought statements all day, every day to build my new positive
subconscious foundation.” So I wrote it out and internalized that statement.
Repetition served to reinforce the idea. I was already doing it, so it was
natural to reinforce the idea by planting it in my thought garden.
I
put my ideas onto cards that I planted in my life. I had them in my vehicle
where I would “see” them every time I used it. I placed them in strategic
places throughout my life. Countertops, mirrors, dresser tops and the
refrigerator became powerful allies in my quest to assemble my positive
thought soldier battalion. These places became forts where I found relief
and reinforcement throughout my day-to-day living.
Every day I was bombarded with the statements that I converted into thoughts
that were aimed at doing what I expressed as my desire. I used my ability to
see, hear and think to my advantage. Once I saw the words I had written, I
read them aloud and heard them as they entered my mind in my voice. As I
processed the information with my eyes, it entered my brain through my eyes.
Then, as I read it aloud to myself, it entered another section of my brain
through my ears. Each step of the way, I was also reading the words silently
which affected still another part of my mind. This strategic approach has
proven to be successful for me. It is an ongoing process however. Maybe if
you are willing to do this it will work for you. Undoubtedly, if you are not
willing to believe that this method might work for you, you will die without
ever having given it a chance. And death lasts a very long time.
Doubt Removal
As I realized that I was removing doubts, limiting beliefs, prejudices and
fears from my mind, I wrote it out as follows:
“I am starting to remove and eliminate all doubts, limiting beliefs,
prejudices and fears from my mind for now and forever.”
Once again, I knew positively that I was doing exactly what I wrote. Using
my strategy of reading it aloud and silently became another statement. In
time, I used the following statement to reinforce all of the others:
“I am beginning to repeat my written ideas over and over aloud and
silently in a positive manner every day.”
I found the repetition to be important. At one point I had the thought that
this was really boring. I was reading statements that were already true. Yet
I knew that I needed to reinforce them. After all, I was only starting to
remove and eliminate all doubts, limiting beliefs, prejudices and fears from
my mind. Practice makes perfect. It occurred to me that repetitive writing
exercises were effective, especially for learning. Writing “I will not talk
aloud in class” two hundred times might have actually planted the thought
and brought about the desired result. And so I wrote, read, reread and
repeated the process.
As I progressed with this project, oftentimes I’d find a card with the blank
side facing up. Every time I found one of my cards in my pocket or on a
dresser or countertop, I had something to read that reinforced my
practicing. Even passive reading placed the words in my mind. So I created
the following statement and placed it on the back of every card:
“I read one card per day, every day, 10 times or more, aloud upon waking,
repeatedly during the day and 10 times aloud just before I fall asleep.”
Then I wrote:
“I am starting to build a bank of positive and constructive thoughts,
ideas, words and statements in my subconscious mind that will be the
foundation of my new life. It is so.”
As I studied this statement, I realized that the words I chose were actually
descriptive of the very real process that I was going through. I was
starting. I was storing or in a positive sense “banking” these ideas. They
were positive ideas that were “constructing” a new base for me to operate
from. And I believed that this work would be the “foundation” of my new
life. How could I draw that conclusion? Each day is the beginning of my life
from this moment forward. It is easy for me to understand and believe that
my work is the foundation of my new life. In the short term, what I do today
becomes the foundation for tomorrow. The collection of my days, weeks and
months become the foundation for all of my tomorrows. Therefore, it is true
that I’m building a bank of positive and constructive thoughts, ideas, words
and statements in my subconscious that will be the foundation of my new
life. I was being transformed by the renewing of my mind. So can you.
In time, I realized that I was becoming willing to refer back to specific
statements when I needed to reinforce particular ideas or to overcome
obstacles. I refined the following statement later in the process, but moved
it up in my list of cards because I realized the importance of becoming
willing to use these ideas as needed, not just in a regimental order:
“I am becoming willing to refer back or forward to specific cards to
assist me when I need more building blocks of thought reinforcement to
overwrite any particular patterns.”
My willingness may not be shared by everyone. It was an important part of
the process for me however. I believe that willingness to repeat and refer
back or forward in the long list of statements I’ve created can be
developed. If one wants to succeed at this, willingness to do whatever is
necessary can be the difference between success and failure.
Disciplined Action
Overcoming Dissonance through this process requires discipline, and
therefore without discipline, most will fail. Discipline is critical. Oh
what a nasty word discipline is to so many
people of the world; those who want
what they want when they want it. And “NOW!” is the operative word. Without
discipline humans are destined to live miserable lives. Much of the
suffering
we live through in this life results from our lack of discipline or the
undisciplined actions of other people. Much of the cognitive dissonance that
I’ve experienced in my life was a direct result of undisciplined actions of
other people or me. Therefore I wrote the following:
“I am learning that I have control over
everything in my life with my thoughts through discipline.”
This was an important milestone for me. I was taught that things were out of
my control. Now I was learning that I was in control of my life. True,
things happen that are out of my control, but my response to those things is
completely within my control. And my response makes all the difference in my
life.
It may be raining right after the weather forecaster predicts sunshine and
cloudless skies. Nevertheless, I can choose to be upset by the reality vs.
the belief or I can accept what is, as it is and go forward in my life
without the experience of negatives associated with the dissonance. Yes, the
forecaster was mistaken. Perhaps I planned a day on the beach or a hike in
the forest. I could still do those things. Maybe I would not enjoy the beach
in the rain. I could enjoy something else. Shifting my desired reality to
the actual reality without experiencing cognitive dissonance is a powerful
outcome of this project. This is not to say that I never experience the
pained state of mind resulting from disharmonious cognitions. Indeed, I do.
Nevertheless, I recover much faster now that I know that I am in control of
my responses. Besides, I’ve asked for serenity to accept the things I cannot
change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the
difference.
Anyone who sustains cognitive impairment can become angry and bitter over
the losses they experience. Or they can move forward with resolve to become
all that they can be. And that is the essence of overcoming dissonance.
Learning that I was truly able to rewrite my hidden, subconscious files
became the motivation to continue. I was able to see results. My repetitious
strategy really worked. Was it because I believed it? Or was it because I
applied myself to this with diligence and determination? In any case it
worked and continues to work. And that is what really matters.
You have the power to make it work for you. Quit blaming others for your
failures, you alone hold the key to your success. Make it happen!
Next Time: More Basic Training