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The Time of My Life!
In January 1994, Denise Patterson's
Ford Taurus was broad sided by a van going more than 50 miles per hour. While her
passenger only suffered a slight concussion, Denise describes herself as
"not so lucky." She spent three weeks in a coma and about eight months
in two different hospitals. She sustained an injury to the left side of her
brain that has affected the right side of her body. She now needs assistance to
walk and has incomplete motor control of her right arm. The speech center of her
brain was also affected, and while she speaks very softly or very loudly with
effort, there is no middle range. She says she's had "as many therapies as
possible," including physical, speech, occupational, and recreational.
The accident turned Denise's life upside down. Once married, she's now divorced; her husband found the changes too much to cope with. Once independent, she now lives with her parents. An outgoing and sociable young woman, she has lost easy use of her voice. A former theatrical stage manager, she's now unable to order actors to their places or lug props around backstage. And yet, almost eight years after the accident, Denise declares, "I'm having the time of my life! I am not a quitter," says Denise. "Never have been, never will be. It's up to me to finish this task [of recovery], and I will."
That she will continue to recover is a foregone conclusion. She worked her way through college and supported herself before the accident. Now her determination is focused on a new job: regaining as much independence as possible. The key is attitude, she says. "Stuff happens. You have to deal with it, and then you move on. Life is too short to let things bother you." Having been near death, and having been much more ill and less able than she is now, Denise appreciates the gift of life she's been given.
From Denise
I am a very independent person. And I WON'T let anything, ANYTHING or ANYONE, stop me. Before the accident, there wasn't much I wouldn't try. I had never been on a sailboat in my life, and my husband and father-in-law bought one in north Fort Lauderdale, a big one. We sailed it from there down to Marathon Keys, and back up around to Naples! I used to do everything. I've been everywhere. I've even touched a baby shark and have been to Europe. My specific goals are to get better to MOVE! I'd like to be a Journalist. I'm good at writing and English. I couldn't teach little kids, but I'm considering college students. I plan on doing everything I can to get better. Continuing my therapies, going to school, and a little me times will help.
I struggle with this next question, every day. Why am I alive? I believe in God. Obviously, God has something planned. My parents, my father in particular, are getting more involved in support groups and in taking me places. I'm just getting out there more.
I've gone back to school. Since I can't do stage management anymore, I've decided to take Journalism. My friends have mostly abandoned me. Although I've found a great group of people, they are my friends, at the head injury group.
My ex., I don't like to talk about him much. He was a musician. I guess he still is. He is a drummer. He didn't have a job! I worked and he lived off me. He always thought I would recover and go back to the way I used to be. We stayed together for five years.
Well, my husband and I were going to start a family. A good thing we didn't! So, I had been to the doctor in the morning, and my friend and I went out for prenatal pills and lunch. We weren't even out of our housing plan yet, when I got hit. We were coming from our house. My passenger Denise sustained a concussion in the accident and as far as I know she is fine. She is in CA. Right now. Last I heard, she was in Los Angeles working for a film production place.
I was hit by a police officer carrying juvenile delinquents. I was at fault because I should have yielded. Let me explain. First, Florida has this stupid law, if you are the one pulling out, YOU have to yield. It didn't matter that the police officer was obviously going 50 or 60 in a 35-mph zone! Did I mention, that there is a light there NOW? I lost my spleen, but that was it, no other physical injuries! I got out of Naples Community Hospital February 14! I was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital in Sarasota, Florida, which is about two or two and a half hours away from Naples. I'm not sure how I got out of the car. But I do know, that some passerby tried to get me out of the car. Some man stopped them, and told them to wait until an ambulance got there. Because he lost his daughter or niece, that way.
It was raining heavily. I was told the streets are made of crushed shells. I figure my tires slipped or something.
Well, I got a divorce, moved thousands of miles, and can't use my right side. Now I use a wheel chair. I don't talk, I can, I just don't. I can't use my right hand, and I'm right-handed. I have learned to do everything with my left hand. I've made TRUE friends. My old friends act afraid of me or like I'm stupid. I'm far from stupid.
I'm 36 and I've been married and divorced twice! Why am I still alive? I don't know, maybe to do just this. I've never met a nicer group of people, the head injury group. I think it's to get the message out about the people with head injuries! I'm pretty resourceful, and I think I would do a good job about spreading the message. That's what I hope to accomplish. Get the word out!
I get down sometimes, but my best friend keeps pushing me. David James Kirby (1966-1983), was my cousin and best friend. I think he is why I'm still alive. (I just now figured that out.) I am going to let people know who we are and that we exist. You can't believe how excited I am. It took me over eight years to figure that out!
I think I know what the plan is! It came to me last night. David! David James Kirby was my cousin and best friend. He was killed in a car accident in 1983. I believe that I survived because of him. I am a Journalism major in college. I think that if I were to write about this and talk about it, people might think twice about speeding down a road. I am involved in three different support groups. And I and my parents believe there should be more.
I am only able to use my left hand, right now. I do have my own computer and love it! Since I am in college, I can use it for writing paper's. And I think it's a good outlet for the people with head injuries and whoever else. Because I thought it would be a good idea to start a letter writing group for survivors of head injury. And I'm getting a positive result. And I've made some great friends. I even met someone, who also has a head injury. So, this is what David had thought I should do.
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